I'm Fallin' Fast, Like an Avalanche

Big Distraction
NO DOUBT
(G. Stefani, T. Dumont)
Everything In Time

You're my concentration
Everything else is a bore
I've got myself snagged on you
No self-control now

All that I want to do
Sleep in the shadow of you
For the rest of my life

Now we can chisel
Chisel off built up walls
Of pain deposited from past lovers
Memories they can sleep
And we can live comfortably
For the rest of our lives

Wrong or right
Shipwrecked into you
Situation is foolish
Put up a fight
You're my big distraction
Obvious companion
I'm falling fast
Like an avalanche

Indentured servant
A slave to a slave
Thank God for my hopeful heart
and for mutual feelings
Look how it's balanced now
Maybe we'll just settle down
For the rest of our lives
Wrong or right

Shipwrecked into you
Situation is foolish
Put up a fight
You're my big distraction
Obvious companion
I'm falling fast
Like an avalanche

Look how it's balanced now
Maybe we'll just settle down
For the rest of our lives


Good evening to you , my worthy friends! How have you all been? I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted lately! Well, just so you know, I typed this all up last night only for blogger dot com to delete it all.

This weekend was spent typing up a 19 page paper for my writing workshop. In addition to those 19 pages, there were 5 pages or bibliography. As a nursing major, I took Health Professions 100W, which I got a B in. (Which, I may point out, was an academic success only surpassed [ in the nursing program, anyway] by the B+ I got in Nursing Theory.]) Anyway, one can imagine my disappointment when Dr. Roth, undergraduate advisor to we history majors, that I’d have to take History 100W.

Phuong told me that History 100W wasn’t worth worrying about to much. But she had sweet, wonderful Dr. Asnes.

I knew from the first day of class, back in the heat of August, that we were in for it. Lisa, Alexandro and I knew from day one this guy was going to be a hard ass. Through the whole semester, class only met 6 times. Six! He’s supposed to be teaching us how to write academic quality papers.

Originally, according to the green sheet, these were the point totals:
Class Participation: 20%
Primary Source Paper: 10%
First Draft: 10%
3 5-page book analyses: 15%
Final Paper: 45%

By our third class meeting in November, however, he changed the requirements. He made one book report extra credit, making the other two book reports worth 7.5%. I did all my work except for the analyses of Free Frank. But I never got any of that completed work back. I never got my first book analyses back, I never got my outline or primary source paragraph back, and I never even got my first draft back. All I got was a 3 sentence email saying: this paper is not sufficient to earn a passing grade in this class.

Fast forward to today. All we had to do today was turn in our final papers. Phuong and I were going to wait for Lisa and all go out for lunch. But Lisa called to say that she was running late. Kevin, Phuong’s crush of almost two years, had just turned in his own paper and stopped to chat with us in the hall. After almost half an hour of bitching about our professor and the way he ran the class, Phuong managed to very slyly invite him out for lunch with us. ("Hey, we’re going to Japanese food for lunch, right now, yeah..... if you wanted to come.... with us?)

Now, before Tony abandoned us for his bitchy, dyed red hair girlfriend, we would all sit around Phuong’s kitchen table, coronas in hand, and ponder this situation. (Phuong’s parents, like my dad, do not approve of the consumption of alcoholic beverages in the home, so we’d have to wait until the wee hours to crack open the bottles.) Almost a year ago, Phuong marshaled all of her courage, went up to Kevin, and asked him for his phone number.

And this is what he said.

"Well, I would say yes– but I’m in transition with someone right now, and don’t really comfortable doing that."

Here are some of the conclusions that our group has come to:

Lisa B.: He’s a racist! He must hate Asian chicks!

Tony: He’s a dumbass like Kelso! He’s Kelso from That 70's Show! An older, balding Kelso!

Donnie: He’s gay! He’s into dudes, man! That’s the problem!

Miraculously, the gay racist decided to come out with us. We walked to where Phuong parked, which was between one of the frat houses and one of the half way houses– the particular geography which make the neighbourhood around school so interesting.

I sat in the back seat so the two of them could chat. We went to Niko sushi, where one can eat all she can for only $9.95. Phuong treated me, which was really sweet of her. (And also very lucky. I didn’t have any cash on me because I haven’t had a chance to sell two of my books from 100W back to Roberts’.) I had a glass of water since lunch was on Phuong’s dime, lots of fried rice, those tempura veggies, and some sushi. It was quite yummy!

After we paid, we sat in out booth for at least another hour. Phuong and Kevin actually talked quite a bit. They talked about politics (which seemed rather a risky proposition to me so soon into whatever this is between them), music, the death penalty (re: Scott Peterson), the best way to double major, obtaining a teaching credential, and highschool.
I’m the wildest friend that Phuong has. Kevin mentioned that he had a purple mohawk in highschool.

"You had a mowhawk??" "Yeah, I had a mohawk in highschool" he restated.

"You had a mohawk!!!" She asked, astounded, once again. It is rather difficult to imagine, since he has lost some of the hair on top.

When Phuong got up to get us more tempura, he and I discussed the best techniques to obtaining the best height in one’s mohawk.

Kevin has two brothers. One of them is married, to a Mormon chick. They have three kids (so far anyway.) We got on the topic of kids names when Phuong sighed and said "It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m never going to marry or have any kids anyway. I’m always going to be alone." To which Kevin replied "Here goes Captain Negative again! You’re 23! You’ve got plenty of time! You’ve gotta just swallow your pride– put yourself out there! Don’t be afraid of rejection!" Then he got up to get more sushi.

Phuong turned to me and said real low "take a chance– put your self out there! What a bunch of crap! I did that already, or doesn’t he remember."

Lisa called Phuong on her cell right then. She wouldn’t be meeting us for lunch, but had some interesting news nevertheless!

Lisa had just turned in her final paper, and asked the professor from hell if she could turn in her book analyses late. (He takes Nancy Regan’s attitude toward late work ["Just Say NO!]) His answer was this:
"Well, I’m not really going to count any of the other work you guys did in class. What you get on this final paper will be your grade in class."

Excuse me..... WHAT? WHAT???

How does a paper jump from 45% to 100% of your grade? A green sheet is supposed to be the professors contract with the student. Damn him. Anyway, at least we can contest our final grades if he fails us.

Tired now! Must sleep. Will post part two tomorrow perhaps.

~Tragic